Oh the irony of life sometimes.
This past year was full of many ups and downs. I saw myself succeed and thrive in my internship at Bearden High School, and I finished my Master's degree with flying colors. At the same time, I succeeded in treating a whole lot of people poorly on account of a few trouble makers. I saw myself change from a happy and thankful person to a sarcastic complainer.
And before I make you think I'm here to beat myself up or tell you all my dirt from the past year, let me begin to change directions with some short confessions.
Yeah, I wasn't the normal Justin I was used to being all my life. Big whoop. I was a royal jerk on more occasions than I'd care to admit. La-ti-freaking-da. I could go on, but the big deal is, I've learned somethings about myself.
Here's my big news... I'm hopeless without Christ in my life. I did a lot of this year "on my own." I wasn't actively pursuing him; I wasn't beholding him, and wasn't being changed. I didn't stagnate, rather, I saw myself get mean and angry and bitter and thankless and blah blah blah...
Nevertheless, God blessed me with favor. I succeeded at everything I put my hands to, and he never held it over my head that I was a "less devoted Christian." I changed, but he didn't. He loves me and has yet to stop pursuing me.
So, that "irony" I mentioned before... I feel more equipped for battle. And the battle isn't some showdown with guns and knives, but it's doing life with people you love. It's doing life pursuing the One you love: the One who loved me and gave Himself for me.
I never imagined this year would have revealed my potential to treat people so poorly. But I'm learning... pride comes before a fall. I'm not immune to my sin nature. I am in need of God's grace to cover me. I am in need of God's grace to sustain me. I am in need of God's grace to live day by day.
Equipped for battle, to live for God's Kingdom, with a ministry of reconciliation.
It's getting late, and I should probably head to bed. My thoughts and energy are dwindling, along with my ability to keep a coherent train of thought. Who knows, maybe this blog of mine will start keeping a few more posts?
