I just realized it's been two weeks since I've sat down and written anything. Rest assured, if anyone is checking, I'll have something up again soon (just not now...).
Well, while I'm here, I'll leave a quick something. (Amy, Rachel, please forgive me)
I don't remember which of the twins was there (I know, I know, I'm a horrible person...), but one of them while we were praying felt the Lord saying we just needed to lay down our pride and just worship the Lord.
I know in my own heart, I've been struggling in the humility department lately. So if no one else needed a reminder, I know I could take it and say "amen." And yet, I still found myself in opposition at points. There were things that I just couldn't in humility just let go of, in a sense. It was a struggle.
My point, though it is very brief, is that other people's responses don't determine your own. Amy or Rachel (again, sorry!!) heard from the Lord, and it was right on! But even though my heart wasn't found in full surrender to it by the end of the night, she has no need to feel discouraged or disheartened. And neither do I when someone refuses to hear reason or wisdom, or the Word of God.
The Lord is pleased when I as an individual do the Father's will. Other people's responses aren't as important. Jesus did exactly what the Father told Him, and He was hated and despised for it. Some accepted His words, but in the end He was killed for it. Look at Micaiah in 1 Kings chapter 22. He was thrown in prison for speaking the Word of the Lord. There were many many many other prophets saying what the king wanted to hear, but Micaiah said it plainly. The king refused to hear, and died because he would not hear the Word of the Lord.
I would say more, but classes call. I hope to say more later. The Lord is pleased by obedience, not response by others. If you proclaim the Word of God, and obey it yourself, the Lord is well pleased, for that is the will of God.
Later!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
The Fight of My Life
In high school I was a busy man; heck, I still feel like a busy man. Back in the day, though, every single day of my life was run, run, run, and go, go, go. I was involved with sports, and I wanted to be involved in every little thing that happened with friends after school. When you're young, these things don't seem to bug you as much (I know, I know... I'm still very young). I was free from responsibilities for the most part; the only thing I had to worry about was doing my homework and having some fun.
My senior year in high school was probably the coolest overall, just because I was able to go on an overseas trip to Italy and Spain. But before we would embark on that trip, we had the basketball season to finish up.
The last game of the year was going to be against one of our big rivals: Maryville Apostolic. We were especially looking forward to it. Earlier in the season they had beat us, barely; it wasn't going to happen again. But the game before (or perhaps two games before...) had an untimely fate for me. There I was... chasing a loose rebound when it happened... a rather large player on the other team tripped and fell into my leg, which sent me to the floor with a broken leg. This injury left me unable to finish the season, forcing me to painfully watch the remaining game(s).
Later upon review, it was proven on tape that this player tripped over a teammate of mine (thanks Deryk...).
Shortly thereafter, I left for Spain. My pink cast was off my leg (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that detail earlier...), but I was still required to wear a walking cast for the vast majority of the trip. As a rambunctious teenager, I did not like the change of pace. I was used to being able to run around without cares of what was going on around me; I didn't want this constraint. So after much frustration, I decided to ask the Lord what He was trying to teach me. What was that? "Slow down."
And over four years later, I'm still trying to maintain that perspective. For me it is a hard thing; as a college kid, I get up and drive across town to school. If I work, I head straight from school to work. There's little time to sit down and relax. But I still need to "slow down" and have time to take care of things. I need to "slow down" and spend time with the Lord. I need to "slow down" so that I can be sensitive to His voice throughout the day.
It wasn't easy then, and it wasn't easy now. But my trip to Spain was much better just because I couldn't do as much. I was forced to rest; my favorite part was going on top of the roof alone with my guitar and just singing songs to the Lord at night. That was birthed from my having to slow down.
And I still need that desperately. If I'm running and gunning, not only do physical things fall apart (like my bedroom, yikes!), but spiritually too. Without a healthy balance, nothing can be maintained. Relationships, cleaning, responsibilities... they all take time. And the only way to take care of them is to "slow down."
And, in my opinion, slowing down is the best way to get the most out of things. You can rush through a chapter of a book to let you "read more," or you can slowly make your way through it, enjoying and retaining what you've read. Doing more does not mean you're enjoying more. Most of the best times I've enjoyed with Hannah haven't been due to lots of activity; rather, when we're relaxed, there's a spontaneity that seems to arise that let's whatever situation we're in become delightful to us. And it seems whenever we've been worried about having enough "us" time have been filled with some fun arguments and lots of stress.
So, I'm still in the battle. I have slowed down, but I'm still learning on how to balance things properly. There's school, work, relationships, responsibilities, ect... and all of them require my time. But worry doesn't help anything; it will likely lead to stress. Doing nothing sure won't fix anything either; then nothing would change. Somewhere in the middle is that blessed place that I'm in the process of finding, and maintaining. And perhaps simplicity is just where I'll find that answer. In fact, I'm getting to be pretty sure of it. Actually, I am sure that simplicity is the key.
Simplicity in thinking, simplicity in planning, simplicity... I will "slow down." And I will enjoy every aspect of life all the more for it.
My senior year in high school was probably the coolest overall, just because I was able to go on an overseas trip to Italy and Spain. But before we would embark on that trip, we had the basketball season to finish up.
The last game of the year was going to be against one of our big rivals: Maryville Apostolic. We were especially looking forward to it. Earlier in the season they had beat us, barely; it wasn't going to happen again. But the game before (or perhaps two games before...) had an untimely fate for me. There I was... chasing a loose rebound when it happened... a rather large player on the other team tripped and fell into my leg, which sent me to the floor with a broken leg. This injury left me unable to finish the season, forcing me to painfully watch the remaining game(s).
Later upon review, it was proven on tape that this player tripped over a teammate of mine (thanks Deryk...).
Shortly thereafter, I left for Spain. My pink cast was off my leg (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that detail earlier...), but I was still required to wear a walking cast for the vast majority of the trip. As a rambunctious teenager, I did not like the change of pace. I was used to being able to run around without cares of what was going on around me; I didn't want this constraint. So after much frustration, I decided to ask the Lord what He was trying to teach me. What was that? "Slow down."
And over four years later, I'm still trying to maintain that perspective. For me it is a hard thing; as a college kid, I get up and drive across town to school. If I work, I head straight from school to work. There's little time to sit down and relax. But I still need to "slow down" and have time to take care of things. I need to "slow down" and spend time with the Lord. I need to "slow down" so that I can be sensitive to His voice throughout the day.
It wasn't easy then, and it wasn't easy now. But my trip to Spain was much better just because I couldn't do as much. I was forced to rest; my favorite part was going on top of the roof alone with my guitar and just singing songs to the Lord at night. That was birthed from my having to slow down.
And I still need that desperately. If I'm running and gunning, not only do physical things fall apart (like my bedroom, yikes!), but spiritually too. Without a healthy balance, nothing can be maintained. Relationships, cleaning, responsibilities... they all take time. And the only way to take care of them is to "slow down."
And, in my opinion, slowing down is the best way to get the most out of things. You can rush through a chapter of a book to let you "read more," or you can slowly make your way through it, enjoying and retaining what you've read. Doing more does not mean you're enjoying more. Most of the best times I've enjoyed with Hannah haven't been due to lots of activity; rather, when we're relaxed, there's a spontaneity that seems to arise that let's whatever situation we're in become delightful to us. And it seems whenever we've been worried about having enough "us" time have been filled with some fun arguments and lots of stress.
So, I'm still in the battle. I have slowed down, but I'm still learning on how to balance things properly. There's school, work, relationships, responsibilities, ect... and all of them require my time. But worry doesn't help anything; it will likely lead to stress. Doing nothing sure won't fix anything either; then nothing would change. Somewhere in the middle is that blessed place that I'm in the process of finding, and maintaining. And perhaps simplicity is just where I'll find that answer. In fact, I'm getting to be pretty sure of it. Actually, I am sure that simplicity is the key.
Simplicity in thinking, simplicity in planning, simplicity... I will "slow down." And I will enjoy every aspect of life all the more for it.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The Aftermath of a Word Well Aimed
Sunday I had the pleasure of working downstairs teaching the middle schoolers. It was lots of fun. My favorite part might have been when I asked if they remembered what Lewis Burke had talked about the previous week. They said, and I quote, "Um... I think it begins with a 'C'"
The only problem is, I don't remember a 'C' word. I remember the words pray, intercession, praise, standing in the gap for others, Joseph, Judah, but I do not not remember a 'C' word. But it was a great time nonetheless being encouraged by a bunch of young people who love the Lord.
Since I was downstairs, I was not able to hear Randy Reid's message until I got a copy of it on cd. I listened to it intently; in fact I listened to it twice. Even Pastor Tim's comments afterwards spoke to me. In fact, something he said hit me hard and I knew if there was no one else who needed to hear it, I was the one God was targeting.
I believe the comment was something like this... "Some people are so worried about things that they begin to plan on doing this if this happens, and doing that if that happens, trying to plan everything out. It's like playing chess with life!..."
And wouldn't you know it, the Lord was about to let me see this one in action in my life.
A situation arose last night. I was re-reading my papers regarding the application process to the education program (I'm not officially in yet, but by the end of the year they'll have one more male educator for their list!). One phrase stuck out to me, and panic sunk in. Fear that all the slots would be filled up before my application was turned in struck me harder than I would have imagined.
I went to God with it, telling Him I was going to trust Him with it. I asked the Lord to help me trust Him with it and give it to Him. Even then, I couldn't stop panicking for the life of me. So I did what any man would do; start drawing up plans on how I could persuade them to interview me if in fact all the spaces were filled. Then I would recall the words "playing chess with life" and give up on that mindset... or at least until panic struck me again.
The end of the story is sweet. The temptation to worry kept coming back over and over again. I wish I could say that it was vanquished and put away with, but all I seemed to be able to do was hang on by the skin of my teeth. But when I arrived to turn in my application, not only was there still space for me, but there was only one other person who had applied thus far in math education. In fact, they were going to have to cut a full time-slot on one day because there are so few looking into math education.
I felt sheepish.
But it reminded me of my 'theme verse' for this blog. Judges 3:2 "... he did this ... to teach warefare to the descendants of the Israelites who had not had previous battle experience..." The Israelites didn't walk into a promised land that had been emptied of trials and battles. In fact, the Lord purposefully left some nations so that the younger generations would be able to gain battle experience. He leaves things not to make our lives difficult, but so that we can be trained. The trials and battles will expose where we truly are, so that we can see where we need training.
I wish my trust in the Lord would have been stronger. It would have been much nicer (in my opinion) to have walked through that (very) short trial with all confidence in the Lord's provision, but I stumbled. So a weakness has been revealed, and the Lord has proved Himself faithful. Again, it has been made clear that there is absolute no need of worry or fear on my part. I am the Lord's. I am doing what He has called me to do. He will take care of me.
Walking into the promised land doesn't mean you or I will never be confronted with difficulties or trials. Rather, when the Lord is leading us, we'll find that He is aiming to build us up in the areas we are weak.
The only problem is, I don't remember a 'C' word. I remember the words pray, intercession, praise, standing in the gap for others, Joseph, Judah, but I do not not remember a 'C' word. But it was a great time nonetheless being encouraged by a bunch of young people who love the Lord.
Since I was downstairs, I was not able to hear Randy Reid's message until I got a copy of it on cd. I listened to it intently; in fact I listened to it twice. Even Pastor Tim's comments afterwards spoke to me. In fact, something he said hit me hard and I knew if there was no one else who needed to hear it, I was the one God was targeting.
I believe the comment was something like this... "Some people are so worried about things that they begin to plan on doing this if this happens, and doing that if that happens, trying to plan everything out. It's like playing chess with life!..."
And wouldn't you know it, the Lord was about to let me see this one in action in my life.
A situation arose last night. I was re-reading my papers regarding the application process to the education program (I'm not officially in yet, but by the end of the year they'll have one more male educator for their list!). One phrase stuck out to me, and panic sunk in. Fear that all the slots would be filled up before my application was turned in struck me harder than I would have imagined.
I went to God with it, telling Him I was going to trust Him with it. I asked the Lord to help me trust Him with it and give it to Him. Even then, I couldn't stop panicking for the life of me. So I did what any man would do; start drawing up plans on how I could persuade them to interview me if in fact all the spaces were filled. Then I would recall the words "playing chess with life" and give up on that mindset... or at least until panic struck me again.
The end of the story is sweet. The temptation to worry kept coming back over and over again. I wish I could say that it was vanquished and put away with, but all I seemed to be able to do was hang on by the skin of my teeth. But when I arrived to turn in my application, not only was there still space for me, but there was only one other person who had applied thus far in math education. In fact, they were going to have to cut a full time-slot on one day because there are so few looking into math education.
I felt sheepish.
But it reminded me of my 'theme verse' for this blog. Judges 3:2 "... he did this ... to teach warefare to the descendants of the Israelites who had not had previous battle experience..." The Israelites didn't walk into a promised land that had been emptied of trials and battles. In fact, the Lord purposefully left some nations so that the younger generations would be able to gain battle experience. He leaves things not to make our lives difficult, but so that we can be trained. The trials and battles will expose where we truly are, so that we can see where we need training.
I wish my trust in the Lord would have been stronger. It would have been much nicer (in my opinion) to have walked through that (very) short trial with all confidence in the Lord's provision, but I stumbled. So a weakness has been revealed, and the Lord has proved Himself faithful. Again, it has been made clear that there is absolute no need of worry or fear on my part. I am the Lord's. I am doing what He has called me to do. He will take care of me.
Walking into the promised land doesn't mean you or I will never be confronted with difficulties or trials. Rather, when the Lord is leading us, we'll find that He is aiming to build us up in the areas we are weak.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
My Joy in not Knowing
I must confess something - I tend to be the type to like things planned out. I like knowing what lies around the corner. Knowing when things are going to happen and why things happen is how my brain naturally tends to process things. I've also found myself having to break that, and I've found joy in it.
Whenever the Lord has told me to do this, or to give up that, you name it, I've always tried to figure it out and ascribe a reason to it in that moment. The problem with that mindset was this; I didn't always know why. Knowing why gave me a sense of security; it gave my obedience an extra sense of purpose. But the Lord has been breaking that, and I can honestly say I'm different than I used to be. It's sure not like I'm perfect about it, but I'm unable to carry how I used to.
The important thing when the Lord tells me to do something isn't that I understand why. The natural man wants to know why. Knowing why is an element of control. But the Lord doesn't always reveal the reasons up front. I'm not even sure if He will always tell us why. And the spiritual man is OK with this, because the spiritual man is submitted to the will of the Lord Jesus. The spiritual man is not dependent on knowing the reasons why; the spiritual person knows whom he has placed his trust in: the Lord Jesus Christ.
How does this bring me joy? Namely, I'm not wavering in my commitment based upon my understanding of the situation. If my commitment is secure in Him alone and knowing that He has called me to something, I can set my mind to that alone.
Last summer the Lord asked me to give up something, to which I ascribed a reason for it. I'm certain that reason was part of it, but the Lord wasn't checking if I could ascribe some reason to his mandate. The Lord wanted me to commit myself to Him and obey Him with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. And here's the kicker for me... Even though I had both the knowledge of what He has asked of me, and even had a reason for doing it, I was not able to be faithful to it. My "understanding" of the plan of God did not "enhance" my obedience or make it "easier." It just made me feel better about doing it.
But now (by the grace of God) am walking differently than I used to. I'm completely comfortable with saying the Lord told me to give this up, or to do this, without knowing the reason.
And though I can't guarantee myself that I will always know the why, I believe the Lord isn't about keeping us in the dark. Jesus said "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you(John 15:15." I am the Lord's servant, but I also know that He makes known the business of the Father to us. It might not be revealed to me in the beginning of a situation or season, but I do believe if we're faithful to obey then the Lord will have something to reveal to us.
And letting these things rest in His hands has brought me joy. In releasing my need to know things, the Lord has brought freedom. This freedom will allow me to rest other things in His hands and live in more freedom; this I do know.
Most people won't understand obedience without a good, solid reason for doing it. But for the child of God, it means everything.
Whenever the Lord has told me to do this, or to give up that, you name it, I've always tried to figure it out and ascribe a reason to it in that moment. The problem with that mindset was this; I didn't always know why. Knowing why gave me a sense of security; it gave my obedience an extra sense of purpose. But the Lord has been breaking that, and I can honestly say I'm different than I used to be. It's sure not like I'm perfect about it, but I'm unable to carry how I used to.
The important thing when the Lord tells me to do something isn't that I understand why. The natural man wants to know why. Knowing why is an element of control. But the Lord doesn't always reveal the reasons up front. I'm not even sure if He will always tell us why. And the spiritual man is OK with this, because the spiritual man is submitted to the will of the Lord Jesus. The spiritual man is not dependent on knowing the reasons why; the spiritual person knows whom he has placed his trust in: the Lord Jesus Christ.
How does this bring me joy? Namely, I'm not wavering in my commitment based upon my understanding of the situation. If my commitment is secure in Him alone and knowing that He has called me to something, I can set my mind to that alone.
Last summer the Lord asked me to give up something, to which I ascribed a reason for it. I'm certain that reason was part of it, but the Lord wasn't checking if I could ascribe some reason to his mandate. The Lord wanted me to commit myself to Him and obey Him with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. And here's the kicker for me... Even though I had both the knowledge of what He has asked of me, and even had a reason for doing it, I was not able to be faithful to it. My "understanding" of the plan of God did not "enhance" my obedience or make it "easier." It just made me feel better about doing it.
But now (by the grace of God) am walking differently than I used to. I'm completely comfortable with saying the Lord told me to give this up, or to do this, without knowing the reason.
And though I can't guarantee myself that I will always know the why, I believe the Lord isn't about keeping us in the dark. Jesus said "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you(John 15:15." I am the Lord's servant, but I also know that He makes known the business of the Father to us. It might not be revealed to me in the beginning of a situation or season, but I do believe if we're faithful to obey then the Lord will have something to reveal to us.
And letting these things rest in His hands has brought me joy. In releasing my need to know things, the Lord has brought freedom. This freedom will allow me to rest other things in His hands and live in more freedom; this I do know.
Most people won't understand obedience without a good, solid reason for doing it. But for the child of God, it means everything.
Monday, October 6, 2008
This is Love...
It's amazing how complicated we make things. So many truths are so plain and simple, and the freedom is in its simplicity. For example, I was making my way through 1 John last week and I came across this verse. "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
I don't know how many books exist about what love is. And I'm not sure how many sermons or Sunday school lessons pertaining to love. All I know is I've heard a lot of stuff.
Lately I've been wrestling through the whole thing of love and obedience. To clarify, I'm not second-guessing my need to obey the Lord. I'm not questioning how love and obedience go hand-in-hand when walking with the Lord. I've just been finding myself in a place of thinking... "I'm so imperfect! How could I love God?"
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
But since I've been saved, I've slipped up and screwed up so many times. I can't seem to stay on my feet long enough to take the next step, let alone think about where I'm heading...
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
But... but... I find myself with so many but's, and all I keep finding is grace, grace, and more grace. I never earned my salvation; I'm unable to maintain it. After all, Jesus is "the author and perfecter of our faith..." So the fact that I'm a screw up doesn't disqualify me from anything. It's because I'm a screw up and a sinner that I needed Him in the first place. And I still need Him; I need Him desperately. I need and want to be changed into His image. But let me not forget...
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
I'm sure I've got more screw ups ahead of me; I think it's a part of that whole humanity thing... But I will remind myself whenever the enemy comes against me, that it all started with Jesus. It will be sustained in Him; it will be perfected in Him. I can rest in His love, because I know my love for Him exists only because He loved me first. "But God demonstrated His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
And I will remind myself, and hold to that truth... I will cling to it. My life depends on it. Not understanding this, or rather, not holding to it left me in despair and condemnation.
I have much more need to understand the grace of God. And each time some of it is revealed to me, I will cling to it. I need it.
And if you are wanting to read some more concerning the grace of God, my friend Sheila has written some about it in her blog "A Season of Harvest." There should be a link on this page... There's nothing quite like freedom, and I can't wait to be freer still.
I don't know how many books exist about what love is. And I'm not sure how many sermons or Sunday school lessons pertaining to love. All I know is I've heard a lot of stuff.
Lately I've been wrestling through the whole thing of love and obedience. To clarify, I'm not second-guessing my need to obey the Lord. I'm not questioning how love and obedience go hand-in-hand when walking with the Lord. I've just been finding myself in a place of thinking... "I'm so imperfect! How could I love God?"
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
But since I've been saved, I've slipped up and screwed up so many times. I can't seem to stay on my feet long enough to take the next step, let alone think about where I'm heading...
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
But... but... I find myself with so many but's, and all I keep finding is grace, grace, and more grace. I never earned my salvation; I'm unable to maintain it. After all, Jesus is "the author and perfecter of our faith..." So the fact that I'm a screw up doesn't disqualify me from anything. It's because I'm a screw up and a sinner that I needed Him in the first place. And I still need Him; I need Him desperately. I need and want to be changed into His image. But let me not forget...
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
I'm sure I've got more screw ups ahead of me; I think it's a part of that whole humanity thing... But I will remind myself whenever the enemy comes against me, that it all started with Jesus. It will be sustained in Him; it will be perfected in Him. I can rest in His love, because I know my love for Him exists only because He loved me first. "But God demonstrated His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
And I will remind myself, and hold to that truth... I will cling to it. My life depends on it. Not understanding this, or rather, not holding to it left me in despair and condemnation.
I have much more need to understand the grace of God. And each time some of it is revealed to me, I will cling to it. I need it.
And if you are wanting to read some more concerning the grace of God, my friend Sheila has written some about it in her blog "A Season of Harvest." There should be a link on this page... There's nothing quite like freedom, and I can't wait to be freer still.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Changing Colors, Changing Temperatures, Lack of Desperation
Note: If my blog were really cool, I'd put a picture of my trees on it. The leaves were green last week, but now they're all sorts of delightful colors. Reds and yellows are overtaking the greens, and I like it.
And now, regarding the change in weather; the changing of seasons...
My (perhaps) favorite part is the change in temperature. I've been waiting for the summer-like temperatures to drop. I've grown tired of working up a sweat whilewalking up and down "The Hill" on campus everyday. I have been so ready. Sure enough, in the blink of an eye, we went from really warm at night to dropping into the mid 40's.
Note: I am glad the weather changed rapidly. It reminds me that I am, in fact, attending the University of Tennessee and Knoxville, and the weather is simply and wonderfully unpredictable. In fact, next week it could be in the nineties for all I know...
If I were more cold-natured than I am, this would drastically affect me. I head out to school semi-early each morning; thus, it used to be warm, and now it is cold in the wee hours of the a.m. In spite of this change, I still waltzed out to my car in a t-shirt and long pants, with sandals.
Now, had I been aware of the change, I may have dressed differently. Maybe I would have grabbed a jacket. I was desperately looking forward to this moment in the season, but I'm not sure I was ready for it. Meaning, I wasn't watching out for it like I think I should have.
If I would have been "desperately looking forward to this moment," like I claim, you'd expect to see me watching and waiting. And then, when that moment arrives, I'd jump on it. If I would have been "desperately looking forward to this moment," wouldn't it make sense that I should appear to be pursuing it?
Desperation is something I find I'm lacking in, whether physical or spiritual. I'm not sitting here condemning myself or anything, but I am going to confess I've found my "pursuit of God" to be less than pursuit. If I am looking forward to a break-through in an area, I don't think I'm anticipating it as much as I think I am. Otherwise, I'd be trying to reach it faster, rather than letting it hit me. Or, if it is out of my control, I'd at least be watching and waiting for it, so that when it comes into view I can run after it as hard as I can.
So I love the changes that have been occurring in Knoxville. Now, all there is to do is to make something of my recent revelation. Rather than sitting and waiting for something, how about waiting while pursuing. Idleness is not a virtue. A woman of virtue is commended in the Proverbs for not being idle.
In Ecclesiastes 10:18, it says "If a man is lazy the rafters sag; if his hands are idle the house leaks."
The Proverbs (6:9-11) also say,
"How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-
and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man."
I have a need of reform; I have a need to be desperate. I have a need to do more than wait for something to happen, but to pursue it. Life requires maintenance; idleness allows things to wear down and fall apart. A little sleep, a little slumber, won't make things better. In fact, poverty can come on you in a heartbeat if you're not watching out.
So Justin, wake up! Wake up!
And now, regarding the change in weather; the changing of seasons...
My (perhaps) favorite part is the change in temperature. I've been waiting for the summer-like temperatures to drop. I've grown tired of working up a sweat whilewalking up and down "The Hill" on campus everyday. I have been so ready. Sure enough, in the blink of an eye, we went from really warm at night to dropping into the mid 40's.
Note: I am glad the weather changed rapidly. It reminds me that I am, in fact, attending the University of Tennessee and Knoxville, and the weather is simply and wonderfully unpredictable. In fact, next week it could be in the nineties for all I know...
If I were more cold-natured than I am, this would drastically affect me. I head out to school semi-early each morning; thus, it used to be warm, and now it is cold in the wee hours of the a.m. In spite of this change, I still waltzed out to my car in a t-shirt and long pants, with sandals.
Now, had I been aware of the change, I may have dressed differently. Maybe I would have grabbed a jacket. I was desperately looking forward to this moment in the season, but I'm not sure I was ready for it. Meaning, I wasn't watching out for it like I think I should have.
If I would have been "desperately looking forward to this moment," like I claim, you'd expect to see me watching and waiting. And then, when that moment arrives, I'd jump on it. If I would have been "desperately looking forward to this moment," wouldn't it make sense that I should appear to be pursuing it?
Desperation is something I find I'm lacking in, whether physical or spiritual. I'm not sitting here condemning myself or anything, but I am going to confess I've found my "pursuit of God" to be less than pursuit. If I am looking forward to a break-through in an area, I don't think I'm anticipating it as much as I think I am. Otherwise, I'd be trying to reach it faster, rather than letting it hit me. Or, if it is out of my control, I'd at least be watching and waiting for it, so that when it comes into view I can run after it as hard as I can.
So I love the changes that have been occurring in Knoxville. Now, all there is to do is to make something of my recent revelation. Rather than sitting and waiting for something, how about waiting while pursuing. Idleness is not a virtue. A woman of virtue is commended in the Proverbs for not being idle.
In Ecclesiastes 10:18, it says "If a man is lazy the rafters sag; if his hands are idle the house leaks."
The Proverbs (6:9-11) also say,
"How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-
and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man."
I have a need of reform; I have a need to be desperate. I have a need to do more than wait for something to happen, but to pursue it. Life requires maintenance; idleness allows things to wear down and fall apart. A little sleep, a little slumber, won't make things better. In fact, poverty can come on you in a heartbeat if you're not watching out.
So Justin, wake up! Wake up!
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