The Aftermath of a Word Well Aimed

Sunday I had the pleasure of working downstairs teaching the middle schoolers. It was lots of fun. My favorite part might have been when I asked if they remembered what Lewis Burke had talked about the previous week. They said, and I quote, "Um... I think it begins with a 'C'"

The only problem is, I don't remember a 'C' word. I remember the words pray, intercession, praise, standing in the gap for others, Joseph, Judah, but I do not not remember a 'C' word. But it was a great time nonetheless being encouraged by a bunch of young people who love the Lord.

Since I was downstairs, I was not able to hear Randy Reid's message until I got a copy of it on cd. I listened to it intently; in fact I listened to it twice. Even Pastor Tim's comments afterwards spoke to me. In fact, something he said hit me hard and I knew if there was no one else who needed to hear it, I was the one God was targeting.

I believe the comment was something like this... "Some people are so worried about things that they begin to plan on doing this if this happens, and doing that if that happens, trying to plan everything out. It's like playing chess with life!..."

And wouldn't you know it, the Lord was about to let me see this one in action in my life.

A situation arose last night. I was re-reading my papers regarding the application process to the education program (I'm not officially in yet, but by the end of the year they'll have one more male educator for their list!). One phrase stuck out to me, and panic sunk in. Fear that all the slots would be filled up before my application was turned in struck me harder than I would have imagined.

I went to God with it, telling Him I was going to trust Him with it. I asked the Lord to help me trust Him with it and give it to Him. Even then, I couldn't stop panicking for the life of me. So I did what any man would do; start drawing up plans on how I could persuade them to interview me if in fact all the spaces were filled. Then I would recall the words "playing chess with life" and give up on that mindset... or at least until panic struck me again.

The end of the story is sweet. The temptation to worry kept coming back over and over again. I wish I could say that it was vanquished and put away with, but all I seemed to be able to do was hang on by the skin of my teeth. But when I arrived to turn in my application, not only was there still space for me, but there was only one other person who had applied thus far in math education. In fact, they were going to have to cut a full time-slot on one day because there are so few looking into math education.

I felt sheepish.

But it reminded me of my 'theme verse' for this blog. Judges 3:2 "... he did this ... to teach warefare to the descendants of the Israelites who had not had previous battle experience..." The Israelites didn't walk into a promised land that had been emptied of trials and battles. In fact, the Lord purposefully left some nations so that the younger generations would be able to gain battle experience. He leaves things not to make our lives difficult, but so that we can be trained. The trials and battles will expose where we truly are, so that we can see where we need training.

I wish my trust in the Lord would have been stronger. It would have been much nicer (in my opinion) to have walked through that (very) short trial with all confidence in the Lord's provision, but I stumbled. So a weakness has been revealed, and the Lord has proved Himself faithful. Again, it has been made clear that there is absolute no need of worry or fear on my part. I am the Lord's. I am doing what He has called me to do. He will take care of me.

Walking into the promised land doesn't mean you or I will never be confronted with difficulties or trials. Rather, when the Lord is leading us, we'll find that He is aiming to build us up in the areas we are weak.