My Joy in not Knowing

I must confess something - I tend to be the type to like things planned out. I like knowing what lies around the corner. Knowing when things are going to happen and why things happen is how my brain naturally tends to process things. I've also found myself having to break that, and I've found joy in it.

Whenever the Lord has told me to do this, or to give up that, you name it, I've always tried to figure it out and ascribe a reason to it in that moment. The problem with that mindset was this; I didn't always know why. Knowing why gave me a sense of security; it gave my obedience an extra sense of purpose. But the Lord has been breaking that, and I can honestly say I'm different than I used to be. It's sure not like I'm perfect about it, but I'm unable to carry how I used to.

The important thing when the Lord tells me to do something isn't that I understand why. The natural man wants to know why. Knowing why is an element of control. But the Lord doesn't always reveal the reasons up front. I'm not even sure if He will always tell us why. And the spiritual man is OK with this, because the spiritual man is submitted to the will of the Lord Jesus. The spiritual man is not dependent on knowing the reasons why; the spiritual person knows whom he has placed his trust in: the Lord Jesus Christ.

How does this bring me joy? Namely, I'm not wavering in my commitment based upon my understanding of the situation. If my commitment is secure in Him alone and knowing that He has called me to something, I can set my mind to that alone.

Last summer the Lord asked me to give up something, to which I ascribed a reason for it. I'm certain that reason was part of it, but the Lord wasn't checking if I could ascribe some reason to his mandate. The Lord wanted me to commit myself to Him and obey Him with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. And here's the kicker for me... Even though I had both the knowledge of what He has asked of me, and even had a reason for doing it, I was not able to be faithful to it. My "understanding" of the plan of God did not "enhance" my obedience or make it "easier." It just made me feel better about doing it.

But now (by the grace of God) am walking differently than I used to. I'm completely comfortable with saying the Lord told me to give this up, or to do this, without knowing the reason.

And though I can't guarantee myself that I will always know the why, I believe the Lord isn't about keeping us in the dark. Jesus said "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you(John 15:15." I am the Lord's servant, but I also know that He makes known the business of the Father to us. It might not be revealed to me in the beginning of a situation or season, but I do believe if we're faithful to obey then the Lord will have something to reveal to us.

And letting these things rest in His hands has brought me joy. In releasing my need to know things, the Lord has brought freedom. This freedom will allow me to rest other things in His hands and live in more freedom; this I do know.

Most people won't understand obedience without a good, solid reason for doing it. But for the child of God, it means everything.